Very interesting!

“I simply cannot believe in free-will but in the same time i see its immense value… Just by believing in her soul, that lady philosopher has/is one… One thing would be clear though: I… certainly wouldn’t be enjoying the wine!..”

Reading this I have the impression that you don’t allow yourself to believe in free will because you have read too many books that claim that free will is an illusion. Read my book instead, and references therein!